Chapter 3

It is hard to believe I've been gone so long. I've sacrified so much to get to this point and I know I'm not even half way yet, but I'll still pretend that I'm almost there. Its as if I'm on that last lap for the finish line and I'm giving it everything I got. So much experienced so far here in Nebbia. I somewhat feel that I have been reborn. Reborn into what? I still do not know. I do, however, know that I am not the same Danny Newnan I was five months ago. It was a tough lonely wet Winter and I'm still going strong searching for my nitch.

I'm pretty sure I've shaken hands with the Demons since I've been here.

Chapter 2

Finding a place to live in this city is as entertaining as running around your favorite amusement park, but having trouble finding the entrance to any of the rides. So much to do in this city and I can only assume there is something very exciting going on down every busy street. I need to get in and stop watching from the sidelines. So many lost their tickets and now they stand around hopelessly awaiting the next big thing to arise. I could see the exhausted faces of these jaded souls sitting on the sidewalks with bags and forgotten aspirations. I wonder how soon until I am part of this culture. Their skin is cracked with too much sun and their clothes 6 sizes two large clearly were not a well thought out fashion arrangement. Golf balls erect from their chiseled faces that have sunk into their skulls. They search around for someone to see them I see them and the aesthetics in their existence as they paint the streets with expression… they are walking public service announcements advertising places you can go and live without shelter, a place without the boundaries of society. They ran away from problems to find themselves hungry and still locked inside their thoughts. You see your issues never leave you they only slip away when out of sight, but you need something else to fill their image with, it’s hard to believe they once had a purpose. I have a purpose and I must press on. Right now I need to find a place to call home for a while I work a job. I need to be showered, shaven and focused.

I stop to roll some tobacco in the Hate. My dark bowler shades the sun from my face, but the rays still boil my head. I'm looking around and realize its getting greener as I near a park. I suppose I can see what I kinda trouble I could find... perhaps at-least some herbs. I need to get things off my mind.

Constantly I'm fighting with myself and the whispers bouncing back and fourth and round the corners of my brain. I'm my own worst enemy as I allow the doubt to imbue such negativity along this journey. Questioning my competence may merely prostrate this mission. Nick and Samantha wronged me and even though they don't see past their own little world I could only desire to someday return and show them that I'm not some wash-out. I will make it here. I'm not a fake. My road was paved in the sky and I need to find way back to that place where I floated over and exceeded these petty obstacles. Perhaps trying to find my social plane will take much longer than predicted and I shouldn't put much stake in such purposes yet. I have my job, I have my undeniable charm and even my health. Just as I feel I am invisible still I am noticed and brought to life by the needs of a bum.

"Hey old boy roll me a fag?" Smiling with cracked lips he in spite of his ripped clothes and un-bathed stench I am only too much a push over to just walk on by. I reach into my pouch and begin to roll him a smoke. "Spare me some change, I will tell no lie as me plans to spend it on the juice." I find three quarters in my pocket and pass in to the bum as his grin reveals rotted yellow teeth, but his eyes light up and draw closer to the silver coins. I feel good.

The day grows later and the streets become evermore desolate. I am walking down the street wondering where to go when I have no friends. Streets are naked and bare except for occasional crack addicts. Early bird catches the worm, but am I the worm? Constantly slugging around searching for a hole. Perhaps an apple to dwell?

Missing scene

I knock on the door and in seconds a giant infant of a man greets me with a most empty yet benign stare. I understood that Jillian has a thirteen-year-old son, but this monster stood no less than 6 feet tall. The boy was built like a fucking lineman and from his blank perspective he may be a natural.

"Maaaaaaa" he's here." He backs up and turns his enormous frame to unblock the doorway to let me enter the cave.

Behind Frankenstein I find Cousin It or to my surprise as she brushes her extremely long dirty blond hair I find Jillian’s face and gigantic blue eyes staring up at me with a timid appearance. She looks as innocent as her son with glistening cheeks like two shiny red apples. Another victim she was to the evident shortage of sun-block here in Nebbia. Her skin was coded with a layer of glossy film from over exposure to the sun; this seemed to disguise her youth. According to her Facebook profile she was thirty-five, but I wouldn’t of guessed her any younger than forty-five.

“Hello and you must be Danny, hope you didn’t have trouble finding the place? She doesn’t look me in the eyes for long until she turns to face the tiny living room with a peculiar blushing smirk as she sips a beer. “Well let me show you your room.”

The little house is muddled with stuffed animals as if someone went on a mad winning streak at the local carnival. Old furniture cluttered the small space, although the place smells habitable and I'm not too concerned with the hand-me down decor, old beige paint and dusty drapes, I mean Jillian is a single mother raising this beast child alone. I could only imagine that she is struggling to keep this monster fed. I follow her into my room around the corner and it is bare accept for a futon... plenty of room for my duffel bag and me. Tomorrow is Monday and the new week begins. I need to get sleep tonight. I have to be at City Indulgence by 9am and ready to work. I need to leave the anxiety behind me

"So I understand your asking 500 for the rent? I was curious if you would take half until payday and I could get you the rest?" In a bind hoping she'll negotiate with me since I'm on limited funds until payday.

Confident that I'm not your average local sociopath, Jillian seems excited to have me take the room. She agrees without a second thought. She immediately hands me the keys to the place and as much as any normal person would find this to be too effortless I'm in some desperate times. I give Jillian the 250 and enter the bedroom, close the door and fall into the futon and pass out. When I awake it is dark outside and I can hear Jillian on the phone talking to her friends about her new roommate.

"Yeah... he's a 27yr old comic artist from Chicago. I'm not sure how long he's planning to stay. He’s working at City Indulgence” Her voice silences almost to a whisper... "Yes he's cute. No you can't come by tonight... I think he's out already. He has to get up early for work... yeah bye."

To embarrassed to exit the room and pretend I haven't been listening in on her phone conversation I stay for a while and stare at the blank wall reevaluating my newfound situation. I find Jillian's conversation to be a tad juvenile for an adult female... still I must look past these flaws and find gratitude that she has taken me in. It’s nice to have a little privacy for once. I know from past experiences sleeping on couches for long periods of time is no way to live and after a while really starts totally fucking with your head.

Privacy is truly golden.

My head

Filled with thoughts so far from dead

My heart skips beats from frustration

From my own mental procrastination

I will run these streets looking for a place to hide

Putting my silly dreams aside

Thoughts be just thoughts

And forever gone

Let me focus

Is this just a phase?

This metamorphic maze

Like a catipillar I will caccoon

Avaiting for my escape root

But in my hybernation I change

Uknowingly, secretly and silently

They look upon me so strange

When I awake to their gaze

Am I not what there expecting

Has it truly been so many days

I question my sanity, this reality

Where am I right now?

Am I losing touch?

Let me focus

Missing scene

I find Mrs. Dunbar's tiny green house just walking distance from the bus stop. It's a little house fit snug between two larger apartment buildings. So unnaturally situated on this street that I feel it just popped up there from some other dimension. The house has an eerie feel to it and even though it is a bright sunny day I keep my guard up as I walk up the sidewalk imagining the house made of gingerbread and what lies inside will be the end of me, but I must continue this courageous ballad which has gotten me this far, my neck still above water. I'm still free and even though I'm slightly homeless I'm still in search of something I do not yet understand. When I get to the door it opens before I can even knock.

"Hello Danny" looks as she has been waiting impatiently for my arrival. Her gaze penetrates deep as she reads into me looking past my smile and friendly manner. I guess I don't blame her with the crazy sons-o-bitches walking around this city. Not to mention Craigslist freaks and that I understand from firsthand experience. She is much older than I pictured. She must be in her 60s, but her voice is very youthful and it is surreal to listen to her speak.

The inside of Mrs. Delmar's house seems exaggerated. It looks like a cross between an antique store and a set from some old show on Nickelodeon. I understand the idea of quaintness, but nothing looks real here. I feel like I've entered some museum and there are ropes in front of everything... the stuff has been kept up for centuries. There is a bar with old bottles of gin and whiskey that have been filled with water and kool-aid. I'm assuming she doesn't drink. Hanging from the wall there are aged bags of corn chips and bags of hard candy that look to be on sale... Huh? Price-tags? Evidently she has turned the bar into her own personal vending machine. I cannot make sense of this situation quite yet, although the smell reminds me of my Grandma's house. You know that one of a kind smell of old furniture and mold.

"You are not to touch my things." Speaking firmly. "You'll need to supply your own dishes, napkins and of course toiletries... do not use my toilet paper". Her lines are well rehearsed as much as I'd like to feel insulted by them I shouldn't take it personal.

She's alone and somehow my heart pities her, but I'm still pondering why they all left. She speaks of a family and there are so many pictures. She has a few children and even a husband. Where is he? She says he comes to check up on her once in a while. Her children look no older than I. Have they run off? Has she run them off? Is this lady out of her god-damn mind? I don't know, but I need a place to stay. I couldn't have found a better location and to pay week by week is perfect for now until I figure some shit out. My room is baby blue, it’s clean and there is even a television. The screen is only about as wide as my hand and only a few channels come in, but it will do.

I wonder how long I can stay here, if this is going to be comfortable or a place like home. The door has been closed and I am laying on the bed... the room is chilly. I close the window. Am I doing it? Am I beating despair. I turn the TV on and find myself watching a miniature viewing of a classic Alfred Hitchcock movie - South by Southwest. Dean Martin is in a room full of people giving him strange vibes... he feels very uncomfortable. I emphasize.

I wake up and it is 2pm in the morning - the lights still on. I am still in my close so I take everything off and I'm down to my underwear. I tuck myself in under the covers and there is a certain chill that never seems to leave me. I can hear noises in the walls that are strange to me, but my exhaustion over powers my inquiry and I am out in only moments.

Chapter 1 New beginnings?

Absconded from a hole that absorbed my creativity and held me in shackles I was for long hopelessly waiting for something to evade me from that city by that enormous fucking lake. For as long as I can remember I was following an imaginary path only conceived by perspectives of those who modeled me in their own form. It was all they knew they could teach me. Their reality is as narrow as it was contagious and I a naive magnet for new outlooks. I let them suck my energy as I tried to absorb their knowledge. They are vampires, but not of the conventional sorts. They need you to keep them young, they need you to keep them important and it’s not blood they seek its companionship. If you’re not careful they’ll keep you there and drain you of all aspirations, force you to read stories and never write your own. So I broke away and this was long over do my friend. Why here? The only reason I could come up with is I saw an opportunity and I jumped on it. I’ve been waiting years for an out. The market in the city by the lake was running slim and I was offered a job at a small comic book company here in Nebbia called City Indulgence.

Walking out of the airport the refreshing breeze engulfs me, as I smell the sea. My eyes are innocent to the hills like monstrous waves rippling with lights scattered so neatly along the curves. The night is almost clear and seemed irregular for this place, but I could see the dark mist walking across the ocean getting closer to shore stalking my presence. My stomach twitches with excitement as I feel a sigh of relief that I am suddenly reborn to a world that doesn’t know me and I can finally look forward to tomorrow without the echoes of yesterday that haunts me. I was walking a new path and at once I could hold my head up high as I shake off the mistakes that left slight wrinkles in my consciousness. I was high with excitement and the adrenaline numbed my hungry body. There was something I came here to find. Nick, a person I never met was supposed to pick me up from the airport around midnight. I spoke to him on my cell phone a few hours ago during my relay in Vegas and he would be traveling in a red '88 Ford Mustang.

The floating mountains of gray clouds began to creep up so sudden they seem to stalk my presence covering the moon on and off as I walk across the terminal aimlessly searching for his car. When we meet Nick seems pleasant and has quickly departed from his car to help me with my duffel bag... I don't think I could of packed any lighter.

"Danny, welcome to Nebbia... brother, nice to finally meet yuh!!!" Reaching for my hand to shake, although he seems friendly and the amount of considerable nobility for being a man of his word and picking me up... so I'm pretty much a stranger, but he doesn't have a very tight grip and his eyes look away when he greets me.

"Hey Nick how are yuh... thanks for picking me up man."

"I'm good good, no worries" He replies... "and please disgregard the mess in the car" as we lay my suitcases over sand and dusty blankets and towels in the trunk.

I imagined Nick would be bigger, I mean he wasn't a midget, but over the phone I envisioned him to be a lot larger, his personality and energy on the phone made me envision a larger person. I had never met him before, but he had been living here in Nebbia for the last four years. He left the Midwest with aspirations of escaping reality and exercising his vocal abilities in the free verse world here. He was a wrapper and a poet in Chicago. Here he would find himself MCing Drum n Base shows and growing and selling marijuana to contribute to a disappearance of traditional society beneath this fog.

Nick talks and talks and there seems to be a “disconnect” with us. This world is new to me and he speaks of such senseless escapades that it makes me laugh in an abrupt feeling of slight intimidation. At once I have met my match when it comes to comfort with strangers and pure “openness”.

“So we get back from the desert and these girls just wanna fuck and watch porn. Duuuude my cock is sore... I fucked em over and over bro.” He giggles. I can't help but feel this is a slight exaggeration on his part, but it’s too early to say... I don't know him well enough.

Apparently Nick had just returned from a week-long party in the desert. He rambles on and on without taking a breath. His eyes look to the road ahead, but they penetrate deeper to flashbacks of drugs, sand and complete loss of inhibition. His shit faced grin seems perpetuated from an extreme jolt of unnatural leaks of serotonin. It becomes apparent to me he is still high on something and I have no idea what, although he seems to find the road that lays beyond us like a snake slithering underneath floating gray boulders that run out from the dark sea.

We drive for half an hour up and down and around hills. No roads here seem to be straight and your consistently go-in-up-n-down and side to side, not one single straight away. I'm at the edge of my seat while I watch in disbelieve as Nick keeps control of the car, but I contemplate at any moment with just a slight slip of the wheel and we could be off the road falling into the dark nothing... cause I can't see a fucking thing out the window. The clouds have successfully blocked the moonlight and I cannot tell what direction we are heading. Nicks appears to turn the wheel by mere instinct or memory. I'm a bit uncomfortable and my heart seems to skip a beat with every effort at swallowing. My legs are tingly and I am impatient to make it back to his place... alive. At the same time I am completely exhausted, but cruising in this 88 Mustang at high speed my heart stops at every gear shift as my brain slowly shift side to side as the car swings around corners and sudden bursts of adrenaline ignite me. My ears pop as we reach higher elevations. The evening is quiet and city seems asleep, only sound is the humming of the engine climbing. I can imagine us reaching the top of this high lonely mountain to only find an untimely fate as we fling off the top like Thelma and Louis... me being Thelma and Louis played by this crazy dwarf bliss-ed out on amphetamines.

Suddenly the car stops and we pull up to what looks like a little house somehow hanging on to the side of this gigantic hill. After we enter I find Nick's place to be neat and actually very clean to my surprise, although I soon discover the bedroom that was promised to me has been commandeered by an abundance of marijuana plants. He explains something has come up and he will not be able to let me use the bedroom anymore, but I am free to take the couch. Nick's attitude is a little disheartening to me as much as I wanted to feel at home I immediately felt like I was evading his privacy, but he did agree to put me up until I was on my feet. I immediately imagine him not wanting to help me at all, but out of respect of mutual friends he would take me in. I also understand he is a busy guy. At first impression he seemed happy to be playing host to me, but I realize he is very occupied with his current lifestyle and maybe somewhat driven to total self-absorption. I understand it wasn't easy to make it here. I may have to keep to myself and stay out of his business. There is certainly an apparent abundance of trust that he let me aware of his hydro gardening. Still I sense he was a bit standoffish to me. He didn't seem to listen to me talk, but sure liked to talk about himself and what he was doing. He immediately packed up a bowl and drizzled some hash oil on top and passed it over to me... and easy way out for his perhaps. We watched Adult Swim and smoked until about 3am.

In the morning I wake up and I can't recall where the fuck I am. This has happened to me on occasion before; usually only after a night of hard drinking, but I think last night I had enough THC to give my children fins. It takes me sitting up and looking around for about ten minutes before I realize that I'm at Nick's house... TV is still on, birds are chirping outside and the Sun is shining. Nick's place seems larger in the sunlight. I get up, stretch out, grab myself a cigarette and head for the door. It’s a beautiful autumn morning here in Nebbia and I'm at a high altitude here in Bayview. To my surprise there are houses all around. A whole row of flats twirl up this great hill. The sun is warm. As bad as I'd like to venture out I feel trapped since Nick is still asleep and I have no keys to his flat, not to mention I have no fucking clue where I'd be going. There is so much green that I am engulfed with the fresh smell of nature. If it weren’t for all the homes this would truly be a rain forest.

After waiting somewhat impatiently for Prince Volume to wake n bake up…I get my keys and I’m on my venture up the hill to find my way to the other side where I can see the Nebbian Bay. Nick reminds before I leave that there is an loads of stuff going on this weekend to look forward to, but for now he needs to get his errands finished. I’m cool and the weather is nice... like seventy degrees. I’m going for a run and to get lost a bit... learn my surroundings.

So I'm jogging on the street following up the hill for a mile or so when I start noticing the neighborhood is changing drastically. It seems I have run through some sort of cultural worm hole and I find myself jogging in front of decaying projects. I keep my head up not to show a sign of fear as my skinny white ass jogs pass dark shady characters in long leather coats puffing on blunts standing at street corners as if they are waiting for a bus that doesn't seem to come. As I run by and can't help to smell the pungent marijuana bouquet. I try my best not to notice the gangs gather out of abandon buildings followed by massive clouds of smoke. I feel their eyes on me probably just as boggled as I am. I realize I am on the other side of the hill as I can see the sun shining from the east over the Nebbian Bay. I'd like to get closer so I take a left on a street running that direction. The heat from the sun continues to incline as the sun nears noon. The street begins to turn and I again am running in the wrong direction. My steady jog is waning as I start to fret. Its getting really hot and I feel very far from Nick's place. I think I should head back before I get too far. When I reach the intersection where I made my turn I find that things look different and I am lost.

Evidently I somehow made a wrong turn. I started on Katrina St and took a left on Thomas, but now I'm at the intersection of Carl Jr and Roger street. Its takes me two hours in the sun to find my way back to the other side of this peculiar mountain.

I get back to place drenched with sweat and slightly sun burned I find Nick outside his car with a dark curly haired girl with glasses. She studies me as I approach them as they clean out the car. She is very simple and wholesome looking wearing a colorful gypsy dress.

Nick discovers my return and looks at me red and drenched with the most puzzled of expressions. "What the fuck happened to you?"

"Well I went for a jog and got a little lost."

"Holy shit you went for a jog in Bayview? Dude... dude you don't want to go to the other side of this mountain. It gets a little shady over there and the names of the streets change." He laughs at me as if I hadn't told him I was going in the first place...

The streets change? Did I hear him correctly? A bit confused I blow it off as my focus goes to the brunette.

"Oh and by the way Danny this is Starla... and Starla this is Danny."

"Hello Starla." I reply.

"Danny its a pleasure and welcome to Nebbia." Even though I am somewhat covered in sweat she gives me a warm hug that kinda takes me by surprise. "Are you coming with us to the park tomorrow.... its suppose to be a clear day again?"

"Um... sure" as I look over at Nick who shrugs his shoulders and gives me an expression of consent.

"Sweet." She smiles and looks again over at Nick who responds with a grin and turns to get back to cleaning out his car. He clothes are interesting and her body curvy. I could only imagine that she is currently fucking Nick as they seem to talk very closely with each other. She begins to navigate around Nicks car as his sidekick cleaning out the remnants of partying in the desert.

I don't know anything about Starla, but she seems to be very much a socialite... Party girl attitude. I mean what else could I expect to be around Nick, although she seems to be intelligent yet classy in her stylish vintage dress with geeky glasses that are definitely on the thicker side.

Still slightly uncomfortable in this new place I use Nick's shower and sit down and watch some Tv. I'd like to go explore, but with no car I'm a bit handicapped here on this mountain. I figure I'll just wait until tomorrow and let Nick and Starla take me into the city. I look out the window and the sunshine has vanished. The overcast has moved in and I feel less like I'm missing something, although the murkiness kinda makes me feel a bit dreary.

It is two in the afternoon when we reach the park. There is hundreds of people all around as we walk the beautiful nature trail. Giant trees all around seem to embrace this organic green temple that unfolds onto a large hippie play land with hoola hoops swirling and frisbees in the air. I feel like a tiny tree elf walking along branches emanating from deep underground. I listen to steady harmonious thumping of bongos and smell the herbs. There is a stage in the distance with a reggae-funk band jamming. Nick and Starla seem to be very popular as we make pit stops at various burner nests on the way. I'm introduced to five dozen people that I will never remember their name. I wish I wasn't the new guy there is so many beautiful and interesting people I wish I knew here with their eyes hidden behind sunglasses and only the their blissful smiles shining in the air and sweet smoke seeping from their lips. The music resonates and I find myself bobbing with the rhythm that flows amongst all present. I forget the bullshit bouncing around my head and I am at ease.

I catch eyes with a short haired blond with a camera taking pictures of me. Her skin is very dark from the sun. I immediately take a chance and sharing some words with her. Her name is Skylar and before I can get another word out of her a larger blond decorated in multiple linens that unfold into a colorful dress draped over dusty combat boots.

"Whats your name?" She asks loudly over the pounding of drum n base in the background.

"Dan-n-ny." Taken back a moment I stutter out my name and she hugs me. I can't quite figure out if she is protecting Skyler or if she is merely genuinely interested in me.

I'm tapped on the back and turn to find Nick standing next to some old man with a tall hat, long pointy beard and no shirt. He puts out his hand and with the other dips a small bag out and spills a tiny line of white powder. He licks it up. I look over to Nick with my slight inquiring expression. Danny tells me its 2CI. The old man offers me some and I ask him what will it do to me.

"Its a perfect harmony man... acid. I made it." He smiles and nods.

I reach out my hand and he drops some in my palm and I lick it up. Is isn't much more than twenty minutes when colors start to come out and rainbows paint across my vision. I'm walking around with Danny talking and letting the beautiful women enchant me with their mesmerizing glances that seem to enrapture my focus as the time slows and I stare in amazement as there hair dances with the breeze. I can see the wind alive surfing through the trees and tickling the hairs on my neck. The branches dance with the body shaking vibes perpetuating from the sweet beats. Rainbows drag behind all moving objects as I lay on the grass

Missing Scene

When we meet up at Republica. I keep my head up being the new guy as we enter the club. “Keep your cool Danny, be yourself,” I tell myself. I follow Nick to the back where there the crew is waiting. I can see we are heading over to a colorful group of burners. I instantly lock eyes with one fellow presenting a blank stare of inquiry of the who the hell I am… he seems to be the largest of the bunch sporting a big blue fur coat, a long beard and a shaved head as he tokes a hit from a large beautifully crafted pipe and passed it next to him to an attractive blond dreaded female who looks up at me with jolliest of grins. Across from her there is two other fellas that seem to not pay much attention to our arrival. The large bearded fella stands up to give little Nick a welcoming hug.

Nick unlocks the embrace and introduces me. “Hey everybody this is Danny. Danny this is Siren.” I shake the big guy’s hand. “And this is Mimi” I give her a nice shake with the hand as her shag-me-stare almost pushes me into a trance, the ground begins to slip before I realize she obviously knows this and her boyfriend is very intimating as I break away from this momentary orgasm before my cover is blown. Tristan and Shannon are the other two who were born and raised outside Melbourne, Australia. Tristan has long brown dreads and purple eyes while Shannon sports an old dusty bowler possessing much more character than my own... The four of them seem friendly enough and have a pretty well established relationship with Nick to accept me into their little evening group.

“Yeah yeah… so Danny just came in from Chicago a few day ago. He’s stayin with me over at my place until he gets on his feet.” I’m learning fast that Nick is quite the talker… he is very good in groups, likes to jump in the middle of people and be the center of attention… it’s just the one on one conversation he needs to work with. “This party is going to be sick Danny… there is five stages, but you have to find your way through the maze bro. So yeah yeah I’m going on at midnight if you could find me.”

Missing Scene

Once we get through the hills and away from the bight city lights the stars began to dazzle the sky. The moon was full that night and as I looked out the window I can see it perfectly juxtaposed over gaps in the tree line along this lonely highway is the calm ocean mirroring the desolate glow. You can see the minimal waves barely rippling the reflection to the shore. It is at that time that I decide to take the first of my Molly. I understood we were only 20 minutes away from the party. I've taken forms of this drug before and I usually know what to expect, of course I haven't had the top notch stuff you get around here and we sure had plenty of it. When we pull up to our destination I could see a long line of cars pointed down a hill to a distant firelight. When I hop out of the car my legs are numb and I want to fly there and it takes us about 20 minutes to walk along the row of cars until we make it to the pumpkin farm.

You could see the look in Tristan and Shannon's faces. They had a mind for trouble and danger. Perhaps my first impression of them was misinterpreted. Thrill seekers they were and they weren't about to let a chance to do something crazy miss their reach. The initial thought was that these two were bored and somewhat awkwardly unsocial, but one could only presume the preconceived notion of the Midwest mentality would only lead them to believe I was a big fucking lamo. These two lived in a world that may be un-sound to the society we have learned to simulate to. In my youth I raised some hell, but in order to get by I had to simulate and tame the wild side of me. These two sought out after adventure as we all did once. I'm trying to once again find my child like aspirations that I have forgotten. Tristan and Shannon were on the front car of the roller coaster without the safety of a harness.

"We are hoppin the fence mates... and keeping the weight of our wallet!" Shannon grabs Tristan and start walking into the dark shadows along the entrance.

"Oh c'mon guys... its only 25 a head." Mimi seems avidly disgruntled over their choice in actions. Although Shannon and Tristan seem to not have a second thought about it. You can see the mischievous glow. They aimed to break the rules and there wasn't much anything that was going to stop them.

When we get in to the party its lit up by fire. Everyone is in full party dress with costumes, glow sticks, body paint and beautiful dreads. I feel small. The ritualistic debauchery is lit up surrounding the maze of hay... enter if you dare. For what lies inside is only a dream and I am only a tourist. I walk towards the maze with Nick, Siren and Mimi. Tristan and Shannon still gone... perhaps caught in the act of their juvenile mischief. My heart starts to beat as the mystical hand of seduction pulls my soul into the hay maze of sin. The pounds are hard but smooth as they bounce into my chest that ripples like water to the aggressive pushing and perpetuating me closer to desire. The Ecstasy has ignited the child who dances to drums that resonate in me. There are three entrances and in front dance topless fire spinners. I randomly decide to walk into the third one, when I turn behind me Siren, Mimi and Nick are short behind. There are people walking around blindly just as me. I can hear the discombobulated voices laughing.

The excitement made my legs shake as I walk through the hay maze. Some would stop to socialize and discuss their situations while they recharged with more narcotics and share beers. I was determined to find my way as I skulk through the dark channels and barely hear the faint music on the other side of many walls. The smell of wet hay mixed with herbs is intoxicating and I feel native. I'd like to chat and meet someone, but I was having trouble communicating and there laughter echoed through my brain. I felt I was swimming through dark taverns around corners I found in the middle of this glitch in society. A place where we forget the cultural and physical force fields that were fabricated so infused into our psyche. This bohemian debauchery was grand and I was a foreign little bug squirming through the heart of it head first.

It doesn't take much time until the darkness takes hold and I'm lost in a dream like dimensia where I'm forgetting if I was asleep or if I am still awake as my body dangling behind my eyes that would dig deep into the mist and shadows surrounding me. My face gleaned with the enchantment of mystery as I avidly find my way through the maze. Somewhere within my incessantly aimless march I realize that I've lost my friends, but I've found the party.

It easily been an hour passed when I find way to the first stage. There is naked hippie chicks dancing all around as their tits and dreads bounce in the strobe lights. Their breasts glistened with sweat. I watch them grab each other and exchange juices with wet gooey kisses. Every now and then I see faint glimpses of my friends, but when I reach them they transform into someone else. I take off my shirt and place it somewhere in a corner intending on coming back for it later. On the stage there are bongo drummers and more fire dancers. I find myself in one with the party as I shed my clothes and bounce with the drums, but soon I need more and I want to find my friends, but I can't seem to focus and the clouds of smoke and drifts of fog seem to enrapture me.

When I reach another stage there is more people gathered around. I find Nick on stage with a mike in his hand and girls dancing around him. I see Starla, Tristan and Shannon sitting down beside the stage snorting Molly up their nose and smoking cigarettes. I dance again for a while until I decide to go explore some more. I think I see Siren in the dark marking out with Mimi, but when I get close I realize its not Mimi at all, but some other doll and when I get even closer I realize there is another one kneeling down in front of him with her head bopping back and fourth. Gentle hands start to caress my back as I'm pulled into a dark corner and slight slips of moonlight flash on the beautiful face of Mimi looking up at me with the gorgeous blue eyes. We immediately kiss and my whole body pulsates and I can feel her chest against mine in dark as her hands trace the curves of my back. I grab her and let my hands grip her ass. I push into her and we are against the wall. Thoughts run through my head, but animal instincts rule my every movement. I question the rationality in our actions and ponder where this is going, but I do not wish to deviate from the seductive bliss so I don't.